When I learned this and started applying it to my life, I experienced phenomenal leaps of self-awareness.
I draw it on the whiteboard a lot.
I’ve mentioned pieces of it in many of my blog posts.
I learned this framework in some fashion as part of my coach certifications. At The Life Coach School, we learned it in a way that I think is more accessible to all of us. Brooke Castillo calls it “The Model.”
Here you go. There are five parts to it.
Circumstances are facts. Most of us state our thoughts as circumstances. When we start separating thoughts from circumstances, it gives us our power back.
Thoughts are the sentences in our heads. Beliefs are thoughts we think over and over.
Feelings/Emotions Most of us try to ignore these, or we think they are out of our control. Some of us have gotten super good at pushing them to the side.
Actions, the things we do or not do. I think we all have a lot of actions we take or avoid.
Results are what you get after you take the actions.
How you are often seeing me share with you is in an outline that we’ll stick something into one of these categories.
Circumstances cause us to have thoughts. Those thoughts generate a feeling that causes us to take actions or avoid actions. These actions bring us results.
When using the model, you can start in any of the lines.
If you have a goal in mind, we’ll often begin with the R-result line. You’ll share with me all the things you need to do, and then you’ll say something pretty for the feeling you’ll need to have to talk yourself into taking those actions. Then, we start talking about the thoughts you are currently having and find a huge disconnect. If we aren’t making our goal, we have something out of alignment in this model.
Another way we do it is by starting closer to the top. Typically, something has happened that caused us to be angry or annoyed or disappointed. We tell our stories with thoughts that we often think are circumstances. We tease out a fact, a thought about that fact, and then move into the rest of the model to understand our contribution in getting the result we have.
The model doesn’t help us find daisies and rainbows. We are often surprised that we are the ones causing or at least worsening our discomfort/dissatisfaction and that getting that awareness is sometimes all we need to uncover ways to change our experience. Sometimes we find that while we thought someone or something was obstructing our goal, we have more power.
Finally, this may look simple, but don’t be surprised if you find yourself challenged to apply it. I almost didn’t publish this in a blog because I find it is not useful to share it too early with my clients.
I decided it would be good to have something written that you could refer to when you want a reminder.
If you want to see how you can use the model to help you reach your goals, schedule a discovery session, and let’s talk.